Dear God, what has happened to this week?!

I feel almost like Rip Van Winkle at the end of the folktale bearing his name. It's Sunday: the first real day Mel & I have had off for what feels like a while, and most importantly of all, one that we spent lounging. Well, lounging in small puddles of our own sweat, but the lounging part is there. And here I am, at the end of the day with the computer mouse in one hand and a can of Coke in the other (we drank the last of the Coronitas last night and forgot to restock...dammit), and I cannot help but shake my head as if arising out of some daze or stupor.

This past week's been rather blurry, beginning with last weekend, where Mel & I spent Sunday running around and cleaning the apartment to the point where even the stray cockroach sparkled. (Said sparkling cockroach was subsequently caught by Chance, toyed with and eventally eaten. And the great circle of life continues.) Since then, I've spent most of my days working helter-skelter at the store; we're in the midst of a large changeover, which sees half of the store switch places of prominence. Now instead of purses being out for all to see, there is a very long wall of backpacks.

Yes, I know, school isn't even out yet for most elementary and high school kids. But I actually see the method to the madness. I'd rather change the store around now, while the crowds are fewer and the mess is more controlable, than to try changing the store around in early August, when we'll want nothing more a sign which openly states:


I find it rather peculiar though; in the Fairview store, it took many days and lots of aggravation to pull off this sort of "No no! This one goes here, that one goes there!" switch. At the new store here in Conestoga Mall, it took us 2 days to pull everything off, and that was going at an only slightly higher than usual pace. Having a larger and deeper store makes a world of difference, it seems.

Oh well, I can't complain. We finished the worse of our required changeover a week ahead of schedule. As manager and reigning retail overlord of all that I see, I feel it safe to proclaim: "I rule!"

(Those of you fearing a sudden attack of raging ego, do not despair. Mel will be by shortly to thwap me across the back of the head and take me down a few proverbial & psychological pegs.)

Anyhoo, while I was contending with all those retail shinnanigans, Mel played tour guide with her family around Niagra Falls, Kitchener-Waterloo, St. Jacob's and Toronto. All since Tuesday. She even has the near-sunburn to prove it. Sidenote here: applying moisturizing lotion at the end of a day that sees you almost burnt across the face and shoulders does in fact make a pleasant difference.

Many gifts were purchased, much food was procured, sampled and cooked, and many pictures were taken. There's one rather adorable picture that Mel's hoping gets sent back to us, where Shady decided to curl up next to Mel's sister in the middle of the night. So somewhere out there is a picture of Megan sprawled out on a sleeping back with Shady curled up next to her chest, and Megan's arm lovingly draped over Shady. Ah, cute pictures that may one day could be used as blackmail: how I love thee.

The last full day Mel's family spent up in Ontario, that being Saturday, saw us running around downtown Toronto. Streetcars, subway cars and sidewalks were travelled. Hanging entrees in the front of Chinatown restaurants invoked humorous expressions in some...while I just got a craving to have dinner at King's Noodle again. Everyone else purchased many clothes and souveniers. I bought a swanky new pair of boxers. We also tried out the Jack Astor's restaurant up on Front Street, and were treated to our very own house marching band! Yes indeed, nothing serenades your meal quite like a giant marching band clustered in the front lobby of the restaurant and sounding off with some very catchy tunes.

(Jack Astor's, it seems, has become a sponsor of the Argos, so whenever there's a game, as there was on Saturday, the Argo marching band stops by. Possibly for a pint. Possibly to hype up the crowd. We do not yet know.)

And in the end, I treated myself and got my very own happy copy of Master of theFlying Guillotine. I first saw it during one of the Fant-Asia festivals in Toronto years ago, along with the last (sigh!) official showing in North America of the subtitled Drunken Master 2. Now I finally have my own copy, where I can marvel at those wild eyebrows and agree that, yes, Jimmy Wang yu's one-handed kungfu is better than my kungfu.

As can be imagined, after returning to Kitchener, there was nobody awake by 11pm. Which is just as well: this morning, Mel's family got up at the crack-of-unholy-dawn (which on a clock looks remarkably like 5:30am), so they could make the 8-hour journey home with enough time left to relax and do laundry. Naturally Mel and I were up to see them off. And after many exhanges of good-bye's, thank you's and the shedding of paternal tears, Mel and I attempted to fall back asleep at around 6am.

It worked for about three hours. We subsequently discovered at the 10th ring of our phone that sometime during those three hours, the power flickered just enough to kill our answering machine. But I suppose it was just as well: my sister was asking if Mel was still up for the Fantasia (not to be confused with one-handed kungfu) party being held later that afternoon. I also wound up getting invited to help bulk up the numbers, as a few others backed out on Carly and her friend Francis at the last minute.

So today's afternoon was spent leisurely sitting back and learning about all sorts of erotic and sexual playthings. I guess it's just as well that out of the pair of us, I'm the flamboyantly shameless one. It's kind of necessary when discovering just how lifelike one of those silicone vibrators are. I seriously can't complain; the assembled people were great and we spent most of the time laughing at ourselves and each other. Plus Mel got some bath crytals out of the deal and I got some pink negligee.

To clarify: the pink negligee is for Mel to wear and both of us to enjoy. Not the other way around. (Because I know at least one of you reading this has already asked aloud the question of whether I would be the one wearing the negligee. Wankers. ;p )

And now...now the day has ended, as has the week, more or less. This coming week in theory will be relaxing and filled with a whole lot of very little to do. I for one could use it, and I know Mel could use some quiet days even more than me. However I have noticed that every time either of us voice the hope that the next week or weeks will be quieter and give us the chance to breathe a little easier, things somehow just get busy on us without much warning.

I can only trust this week won't be the case. As it is, I've got 30 pages of a fic to polish and release (which should ideally have been done last Friday), Emails to reply to and a backlog of people to call. But that can wait until tomorrow.

If anyone needs me for the rest of the night, I'll be out on the balcony with my Coke, and a little Ayumi Hamasaki playing in the background.


Today's Lesson: male ejaculate can reach speeds of up to 28 mph. (Why is it that I remember disturbing information like this, and yet can't remember to buy bread while we're in the grocery store?)